Born on a mountaintop way out west,
born tall and handsome and slim.
An asteroid fell for a wild desert flower,
that’s the story of Cactoid Jim.
That legendary Cactoid Jim.
Well, a big forest fire was headed toward town,
hopes was lookin’ mighty dim
but he roped a raincloud from the western sky
doused the flames, that Cactoid Jim.
That cloud-ropin’ Cactoid Jim.
Well the dam broke way up river last year
flood came runnin’ on in.
Well he swallowed that river,
patched the whole durn dam,
saved our village, that Cactoid Jim.
Oh that flood-drinkin’ Cactoid Jim.
Some spooked hypercattle was stampeding towards our church,
in the middle of our Sunday hymn.
Well he called in a favor from the man upstairs,
we had burgers thanks to Cactoid Jim.
Kiss the cook, it’s Cactoid Jim!
That cloud-ropin’, river-drinkin’, barbecuin’ Cactoid Jim!
Music and lyrics by Ben Acker, Ben Blacker and Andy Paley
Audio is from The Thrilling Adventure Hour #83: Mayor’s Retreat